Look at my Gold cup
It is time where we are hearing about medals and accolades coming in for
Nobody is indispensable?
Last few weeks have been particularly painful for the likes of me - where 'we' the nuclear family become an extended family of the place where our spouses work. The fraternity of any service becomes a close knit one - with all the baggage's of any typical family. We celebrate together, we cheer together, we gossip together (separately) and yes we also we mourn together. The man at the helm of affairs of the Indian Coast Guard Director General, had an unexpected call from the heavens and he went away just at the snap of a finger. Imagine someone leaving the house in a perfect condition and coming back in a casket? Hardly had we gotten over this loss that, we heard that an ALH (Advanced Light Helicopter) who was on the way to save someone from a merchant ship had to ditch it's course mid way and land in to the vast sea. Precious lives lost again. Incidentally the same ALH had saved close to 67 lives in a flood situation, just few days back. Unfortunately there was no s...
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Its good to see some ppl realizing this before they become a parent...
We can have a lot of possessions, posts, a great career and so on. But they can never match up to the prized possession we've got in the form of children. On reading your post, I think the bondage with my parents grew stronger. Hats off to your work. Please increase the font size. It's quite tough to read.
Font size increased Gopalakrishnan :)
happy 2 see..dat u care so mch fr ur parents!
v are hea..bcos our parents wntd us..n its our duty to take care f 'em! :)
cheers! :D
keep up da gud wrk!
The moral is to value parents and their feelings they have for us...But the way you have framed it,truly shows your thoughtfulness to observe things in a broader and deeper way..the title is so felicitous and fetching to boot...
Felicitations!!!
Thanks for your nice words..I really dont copy you know :)
Subha..As usual thanks for your careful & kind words!
I wonder when the day will come when my parents will feel proud of me...hasnt happened since a long time now
Cheers
CRD
we all doing our part in our own small ways ryt?
have a great day
mine is a slightly positive take on your sentiments. hope it makes you feel better.
'distance makes the heart grow fonder'....this never had more relevance than in current times. when my hubby shifted base to foreign shores, he like many others in the technology business, did not know he had bargained for a telephonic relationship with the only parent he has. it has been many years now and both my hubby and ma-in-law have made peace with the situation or at least pretend to it not affecting them anymore.
anyways my point is, our generation is often accused of falling prey to the call of career. many of us live with needless constant guilt. i say needless because it is no good blaming ourselves when it is often the situation that's responsible for fostering a sense of sheer helplessness.
just think about it, the older folk have their hands tied as well. i am sure, it breaks my mom's heart to see her grandchild grow up in pictures. if it were not for the thought of losing out on her hard earned pension after 20 years of a struggle ridden teaching career, she would'nt blink an eyelid before considering coming over and being the doting grandmum she really wants to be.
now who is to blame for the times we live in? no one really! we may be deprived of sharing our success with the ones we really care for. but we make a choice and we live with it. untill someone comes up with a win win scenario, i am quite contend with imagining that every e-mail coming from my mum can grow hands, step out of the monitor and envelope me with the warmth of her love. for me that feels better than winning gold !
I just explained the feeling at the moment of leaving. I have no doubts in my mind for all that you have said.. It is the post thought that you are talking of.. Finally we have our ways of convincing ourselves in the situations we are in and that it could be better but THIS IS IT right now. A child leaving home is dichotomy at it’s best : needed for the growth & stability of the child; but at the cost of living though e-mails, phones. What is good or bad I do not know..just that this is how it works
Thanks for your careful thought sharing and time spent on this.
Now abt parenting.
The father whenevr gets transferred in his job takes all the kids with him, putting enormous strees on the kids adaptability and education and psychological health. And later when the father retires and becomes a dependant peron to his son refuses budge from his Ichalkaraji house and expects that all the children and the grandchildren should vist him all vacations.
Its important for parents to know that they should have a life independant of thier children and their self esteem and self confidence are not rated by the accomplishements of their children. If this continues u can imagine the stress on the siblings who will get compared and the constant need to please parents by them.
From the childhood girls aare taught to belong else where and then when need comes they are approached for 'care'.
One cannot however ignore the years of 'programming' by the parents on thier kids, that 'u owe it to me'.
But i must admit Sucha that i like reading yr blog, just that this was the 1st time u provoked a reaction from me, Love yr language, selection of thoughts. Have more to say , but need to catch with the day, .
so long.
Thanks first for spending time on the blog and next for your kind words on my writing :)
Coming ot your observations, well I have not much to say to the expert that you are in parenting. It does occur to me that Indian parenting is evolving to a great extent and may be few generations donw the line we are in a more mature state than today.
My inlaws or parents are in a better emotional state than my grandparents and it may only get better. Not only emtional but even financially they do not wait for their sons to send in regualr money like how my grandpaents used to wait. Parenting in India is definitely turning more towards friendship unlike earlier. I only hope we do not end up taking appointments with them to "meet over dinner" in years to come!
I was totally overwhelmed when he hugged me tightly and kissed me every time I meet him after retirement. I went straight to my childhood days when he used to do this every time he came back from office. He was "my dad greatest" and I was his "my daughter sweetest". He was in Air force that time and then left us in our uncle's home for 3yrs. I missed him a lot at that time.
Years passed and an invisible wall was created between both of us and we started to distance ourselves so much at one point of time we started hating each other. After my marriage the bonding started again and now I take every opportunity to go to my home just to hug him and kiss him and say that his sweet little daughter is back. I realise how much he would have missed the family when he was there in the border. He spent all the prime time of his life to earn for us and make sure we got the best of education and every other luxury. I was unable to see the heart earning for love hidden behind a strict disciplinarian. I used to grumble and just do all the things that would irritate him.
It’s true that you will not know it before you pass thru that stage. Anyways I am happy that I realised this before it was too late. Friends each one of us will pass through this phase but never ever let your parents down whatever is the reason.
Sucha thanks a ton for bringing back those cherished moments of my life.
Keep up the good work lady :)
They consider coming back even for a week as a time-wasting expensive favor they r bestowing upon those who keep waiting for them nite n day, and they selfishly combine it with their other business activities and tours.
BUt I guess in this age and time thats the way the flow is.
Very heartfelt and one of the sad truths of life!
cheers,
adisha
these small things in life take our breath away...
My mom even tells ppl when I help her with chores or when I give her a lift to the market!
Its a gr8 feeling.
I'm sure your parents are happier about you becoming successful