Look at my Gold cup

It is time where we are hearing about medals and accolades coming in for India in more than one way. Sania Mirza and Mahesh Bhupati winning a grand slam, Yuvi Bhambri for his junior title in tennis, A. R Rehman ofcourse getting all the praise for his music in Slumdog millionaire. Proud moments . I feel proud of them despite of all the possible obstacles that we see in India they have made a mark for themselves in the world. Fabulous and I can feel the smile in Mother India’s heart- for a change her children are getting the right type of attention!

Though I am no where close to even holding a tennis racket or a baton to wave; the feeling is similar when my parents proudly show off the little achievements I have in my account to all and sundry. A tad embarrassed nevertheless happy it is so amusing to hear talk like “My daughter went abroad on work and got me these shoes”, “She took me for my medical check in her whirl wind tour”, “She sent me tickets for coming over”

After years of staying away even a little walk down the familiar roads are enough to speak volumes on how proud they are of their prized possessions – their children. There is a different sparkle in their eyes and an extra confidence in the otherwise careful step. Right from the watch man to the familiar grocery fellow, there is only one thing conveyed – Look my child is home! It almost feels like they are carrying their hard earned gold cup of life in their hand.

Yet I don’t think I deserve all the praise & attention. Finally it is with outsiders that I leave the responsibility of taking care of the ones who treat me like gold. Just like my neighbour’s tell me “Take care of my old mother she is all alone” I say the same words to people who are total strangers to me. Personal achievements, career progression, expensive holidays, really have no meaning at that point when you leave them for whom you are the world. At that moment I feel worse than bronze internally.

Comments

Jen said…
Hey Sucha...this is so very true...I often wonder what it would feel like when people visit parents once every year for a few weeks and then get back to their places of work. Money, work, position, dreams have made us get away from the people who did not bother so much about any of these when they brought us up. They only wanted their children to be happy. They were there for us at every situation in our life. It's a sad reality that we do not realize their worth. Even if a cup was to be made of all the valuables in this world; it would not be a worthy accolade for them.
Its a feeling u realize when u become a parent...
Its good to see some ppl realizing this before they become a parent...
NeoDharmar said…
Well said!
We can have a lot of possessions, posts, a great career and so on. But they can never match up to the prized possession we've got in the form of children. On reading your post, I think the bondage with my parents grew stronger. Hats off to your work. Please increase the font size. It's quite tough to read.
Sucha said…
Yes glad that people feel likewise. Thanks for reading & understanding!

Font size increased Gopalakrishnan :)
Anonymous said…
wow! how well put
Virtual brother said…
dont know why, but every blog of yours touch a chord deep. i was speechless after reading this.
Arush Mittal said…
nice read! :)
happy 2 see..dat u care so mch fr ur parents!

v are hea..bcos our parents wntd us..n its our duty to take care f 'em! :)

cheers! :D
keep up da gud wrk!
Subha Mohapatra said…
Great Work Sucha !
The moral is to value parents and their feelings they have for us...But the way you have framed it,truly shows your thoughtfulness to observe things in a broader and deeper way..the title is so felicitous and fetching to boot...
Felicitations!!!
Sucha said…
Naresh..

Thanks for your nice words..I really dont copy you know :)
Sucha said…
Thanks Aarush..better late than never!

Subha..As usual thanks for your careful & kind words!
CRD said…
lovelyyyy thought sucha..never thought of this..

I wonder when the day will come when my parents will feel proud of me...hasnt happened since a long time now

Cheers
CRD
ArUn raFi said…
hey a very nice post..very simple and beautiful..although nt much f th emotional kinda person i loved ur post..esply whr u mentioned wen parents show off ur little scheivements and leave ua tad embarassed..nice :)
we all doing our part in our own small ways ryt?
have a great day
Unknown said…
hey sucha...
mine is a slightly positive take on your sentiments. hope it makes you feel better.

'distance makes the heart grow fonder'....this never had more relevance than in current times. when my hubby shifted base to foreign shores, he like many others in the technology business, did not know he had bargained for a telephonic relationship with the only parent he has. it has been many years now and both my hubby and ma-in-law have made peace with the situation or at least pretend to it not affecting them anymore.
anyways my point is, our generation is often accused of falling prey to the call of career. many of us live with needless constant guilt. i say needless because it is no good blaming ourselves when it is often the situation that's responsible for fostering a sense of sheer helplessness.
just think about it, the older folk have their hands tied as well. i am sure, it breaks my mom's heart to see her grandchild grow up in pictures. if it were not for the thought of losing out on her hard earned pension after 20 years of a struggle ridden teaching career, she would'nt blink an eyelid before considering coming over and being the doting grandmum she really wants to be.
now who is to blame for the times we live in? no one really! we may be deprived of sharing our success with the ones we really care for. but we make a choice and we live with it. untill someone comes up with a win win scenario, i am quite contend with imagining that every e-mail coming from my mum can grow hands, step out of the monitor and envelope me with the warmth of her love. for me that feels better than winning gold !
Sucha said…
Amrita!

I just explained the feeling at the moment of leaving. I have no doubts in my mind for all that you have said.. It is the post thought that you are talking of.. Finally we have our ways of convincing ourselves in the situations we are in and that it could be better but THIS IS IT right now. A child leaving home is dichotomy at it’s best : needed for the growth & stability of the child; but at the cost of living though e-mails, phones. What is good or bad I do not know..just that this is how it works 

Thanks for your careful thought sharing and time spent on this.
Unknown said…
I seem to have mixed reaction to your views. A nation that doesnt do anything to promote the sport or art takes pride in the achieveents of the winners. Tell me what is the nations contribution to Rehmam's skill development by the nation? What is the contribution to Mahesh and Sania's talent by the nation? Same is the case with Bindra and many like him. They pay thru their nose for all the training , sacrifice their career/safety networks and stick their neck out. They even have to go thru official apathy at all levels, passport office, permits, import of eqmpts,training space and most importantly a space in the national side. And when they will we shamelessly want to celebrate their victories.
Now abt parenting.
The father whenevr gets transferred in his job takes all the kids with him, putting enormous strees on the kids adaptability and education and psychological health. And later when the father retires and becomes a dependant peron to his son refuses budge from his Ichalkaraji house and expects that all the children and the grandchildren should vist him all vacations.
Its important for parents to know that they should have a life independant of thier children and their self esteem and self confidence are not rated by the accomplishements of their children. If this continues u can imagine the stress on the siblings who will get compared and the constant need to please parents by them.
From the childhood girls aare taught to belong else where and then when need comes they are approached for 'care'.
One cannot however ignore the years of 'programming' by the parents on thier kids, that 'u owe it to me'.
But i must admit Sucha that i like reading yr blog, just that this was the 1st time u provoked a reaction from me, Love yr language, selection of thoughts. Have more to say , but need to catch with the day, .
so long.
Sucha said…
Giri,

Thanks first for spending time on the blog and next for your kind words on my writing :)

Coming ot your observations, well I have not much to say to the expert that you are in parenting. It does occur to me that Indian parenting is evolving to a great extent and may be few generations donw the line we are in a more mature state than today.

My inlaws or parents are in a better emotional state than my grandparents and it may only get better. Not only emtional but even financially they do not wait for their sons to send in regualr money like how my grandpaents used to wait. Parenting in India is definitely turning more towards friendship unlike earlier. I only hope we do not end up taking appointments with them to "meet over dinner" in years to come!
Unknown said…
Hmm....very true Sucha. I personally experienced this recently when my father became very close to me after his retirement.

I was totally overwhelmed when he hugged me tightly and kissed me every time I meet him after retirement. I went straight to my childhood days when he used to do this every time he came back from office. He was "my dad greatest" and I was his "my daughter sweetest". He was in Air force that time and then left us in our uncle's home for 3yrs. I missed him a lot at that time.

Years passed and an invisible wall was created between both of us and we started to distance ourselves so much at one point of time we started hating each other. After my marriage the bonding started again and now I take every opportunity to go to my home just to hug him and kiss him and say that his sweet little daughter is back. I realise how much he would have missed the family when he was there in the border. He spent all the prime time of his life to earn for us and make sure we got the best of education and every other luxury. I was unable to see the heart earning for love hidden behind a strict disciplinarian. I used to grumble and just do all the things that would irritate him.

It’s true that you will not know it before you pass thru that stage. Anyways I am happy that I realised this before it was too late. Friends each one of us will pass through this phase but never ever let your parents down whatever is the reason.

Sucha thanks a ton for bringing back those cherished moments of my life.

Keep up the good work lady :)
Jhaya said…
ur realization has moved me...very few people do realize this.
They consider coming back even for a week as a time-wasting expensive favor they r bestowing upon those who keep waiting for them nite n day, and they selfishly combine it with their other business activities and tours.
Anonymous said…
yes thats is sad as more and people are taking further studies and in search of good careers migrate to other places and countries.The parents who hve cared and nurtured thier kids then only see them as visitors for a mere couple of weeks each year.
BUt I guess in this age and time thats the way the flow is.
Adisha said…
Thanks for visiting my blog.

Very heartfelt and one of the sad truths of life!

cheers,
adisha
Unknown said…
sucha.. this is heart touching one.. every one feels who read this blog..
nicely written!

these small things in life take our breath away...

My mom even tells ppl when I help her with chores or when I give her a lift to the market!

Its a gr8 feeling.

I'm sure your parents are happier about you becoming successful

Popular posts from this blog

Take care!

It could have been me..

Of Wishes and Resolutions