Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Long time no see..

It is really so wonderful to be seeing you after such a long time! Aah I know feels good to be looking eye to eye, heart to heart after a long time. What to do? These everyday hassles of life hardly leave any time for the things that really matter to “us”. The worldly commitments, rate race is really killing, first for earning and then running to spending all the money to show that life is very “happening” and a host of other things leave hardly or no time for meeting you.

I do think often how far apart we are going. I yearn for that quality time with you where no one exists but you and me. It is only in these silences that I feel deeply connected to you. I don’t have any words to talk to you, yet there is so much that is conveyed in these silences. The sheer joy of existence, the celebration of “being” in life, that silent acknowledgement that we exist for the same purpose and so many unsaid things. I miss all that dearly.

Sometimes I do wonder how much I have grown up in life. Those dreams we had as children are now coming true. None of this would have been possible but for your stoic support. Trust me! Deep within it was you who gave me the conviction that with patience and faith we would achieve a lot in life. I know I should have acknowledged this long back but I was so busy “looking good” for the other people in my life that I always took you for granted.

I could see in your eyes the hurt you have undergone whenever I underwent pain in any relationships, disappointment with life or anything at all that made me sad. Like a fool, I made sure I quickly looked away to avoid acknowledging my pain. I was afraid that you would know my deepest feelings / fears. If only I took you as my friend I would have been so comforted by your presence rather than being threatened.

I am really thankful for this day and time which forced me to stay indoors and meet you. In the normal course I would have been busy staring at the monitor, but I am glad for the rains which are pouring their heart out. I could stare at the mirror and pour my heart out to you! I am indeed meeting myself after a long time…