The loss of inheritence

 A short trip to a small town in Himachal Pradesh (HP)  turned out to be a huge eye opener for me. I feel like the boy in the famous story who shows his father a village from his point of view to show what 'rich' really means. Being born and brought up in Mumbai I always felt that 'Mumbaikar's' have it all - simplicity as well as being fancy. Yet, Nahan (the place I visited in HP) taught me what being 'real' is - no showing off, just being pure unadulterated 'human'. 

To build up the context better - imagine a single old lady all by herself in a city. We will get our sympathies out and work out al possible schemes to keep her safe, but will hardly do anything beyond that. A simple 'take care' will seal our conversations with the elderly. However in Nahan, I saw friends and neighbours never say ' take care' but are personifications of  "I will take care". I know some of you may remember I had a blog post on a similar feeling some years back. If you would like to read it here it is!

Although by relationship they are tenants the way the take of their single old Aunty was simply amazing. Someone cooks, someone washes, yet another person will shop for her and all with in a sweet unwritten code of 'understanding'. Aunty will reprimand them for not calling or just anything but the tenants will not 'block' her or wonder why she is so demanding or narcissist (the latest favourite word!) . As for me I don't remember the last time someone called me without a 'reason'! 

One thing that really touched me was the role of a  'friend' - Aunty has a friend who comes over every day - yes you heard that right, every single day to have lunch with her, chit chat, take a nap and go back after tea. My heart was so full seeing this friendship that I wonder of what use are my social media accounts when I do not have anyone to share my tea with even one person! 

What has the city turned us in to? I wonder. Some money making machines who do not do anything without a reason. Every relationship has to have a logic, need ..there is no more 'just like that'! In our attempt to strengthen our 'I' , 'Me' &  'myself'  and my immediate family we have slowly forgotten the 'We', 'us' and 'ours' the very fabric of relationships is now weak with too many ' I' 's and very little 'we' 's. Is this not our loss of what we could have inherited from our villages and small places? 

Yet another thing that noticed in this North Indian village was the clean division of responsibilities (AKA Dharma). The boys take care of the parents, the daughter visits parents once in a year gets pampered and goes back to take care of her inlaws & family. One may love or hate the parents but there was no 'choice' given to the boys of not taking care of the parents or put them in old age homes. In the name of independence and choices, we now have so many parents in towns & cities who are left to themselves. When I hear my 10 year old say "It is my choice what I want' I know we have sowed the seed of this choice quite deeply in to our city systems and psyche. What a terrible loss of inheritance of the true Dharma. It will be a good reminder to us that not following our Dharma will end up adding to our Karma! 

I guess many of you are already thinking what a retrograde blog post this is, after all we are living in 2024 where we are only worried about the glorification of  'I' ( read as I, Me, Myself). This trip has taught me that it is better to be retrograde, if it teaches us to think beyond ourselves and our immediate family. Would I drop the city to go back to a small place? I thought hard and I answer in the affirmative tone. If a village makes me more humane, I am game. What about you?

P.S These are just my musings, any resemblance to a situation or person is purely the gift of the cities we dwell in and the thinking it gave us. Nothing intentional. 

Comments

Anonymous said…
A nostalgic post , a reminder of good old days !

As Indians , we are victims of psychological colonialism, we aspire and emulate the west , try to take pride in the values of autonomy and free will. However , actually our psyche is in ever state of conflict , we can't give up on our collective values completely , nor can embrace the western ideals whole heartedly.

As mothers we want an 'independent ' child , who
' respects' elders by not talking back . Isn't this also contradictory.
October 5, 2024 at 12:21 PM
Anonymous said…
Such a heartwarming read …
The core of the article… We city dwellers have turned into …”Some money making machines who do not do anything without a reason.”
Let’s make an effort to be human again.
Thanks for sharing :)
October 5, 2024 at 12:22 PM
Anonymous said…
You have the gift to write what you feel in a nice articulated manner . Do this more often .its like a therapy
October 14, 2024 at 4:00 PM
Anonymous said…
Sucha this is a beautiful piece and heart warming too . I sincerely believe you must continue writing as your writing is simple and hits the right chords . Savitha
October 14, 2024 at 4:55 PM
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